Monday, May 25, 2015

1 Month Postpartum Update

Happy 1 Month Buddy!
Weight: One month postpartum and I am 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, weighing in at 135 pounds. I still have a little bit of a tummy pooch, and I feel like my inner thighs and booty have a little bit extra too! I'm really optimistic that breast-feeding will continue to help me shed some of those remaining pounds, but it is hard because I am trying to keep my calorie intake rather high to make sure I'm producing enough breast milk.
1-month Postpartum: Still a little bit of a tummy!
Working out: Besides stroller walks, I haven't started working out again yet. I'm waiting until my six-week doctors appointment for the go-ahead but I'm definitely feeling antsy to start working out again. I miss my Pure Barre! I can't wait to do hot yoga again too since I wasn't able to do hot yoga while pregnant. I'm hoping somehow I find the time to go to my workout classes with the help of my husband and grandparents babysitting. That is probably the one thing I will not be shy about asking for help with. I know if I feel good about myself, it's better for Landon overall, and sets the example to stay healthy and physically active.

Help: Boy do we need it! haha But I've actually really not asked for help with much, which is probably really stupid of me. Lots of laundry and keeping the house straightened and the other random household chores I've mainly been taking on myself. I think with the next baby I will definitely be asking for more help, if I had one to watch and a new one to be taking care of at the same time. My mom has been great! She's brought over a bunch of dinners that she's made for us, and I really appreciate that. My mom and my grandma and grandpa have also both babysat a couple times just so I can run out and do some errands. We had a wedding to attend as well, and we had our first date night out for our one year wedding anniversary, so I really appreciated them coming to babysit Landon those two times. Also, we have a cleaning service that comes every two weeks, just to do the dusting and vacuuming mopping & overall upkeep of the entire house. I love it. It makes it wayyyy more manageable for the in-between time. 
I just love my little man.
Schedule: We have absolutely no sort of schedule yet. It's basically just feeding on demand whenever Landon cries, or figuring out what he needs and doing it. Every day has been completely different, even though I have been keeping all of the data on an app so I know exactly when he's had a feeding every single day, how many diapers he's gone through, etc. But still nothing that's any sort of a regular pattern as of yet.

Sleep: Getting adjusted to life with baby mainly means not sleeping for more than one hour consecutively. Everyone tells you sleep when baby sleeps but I have never been a napper my entire life so it is really difficult for me to nap during the day when Landon is sleeping. I also have this strange sense of needing to get housework done while my husband is at work because I feel like I'll look like I hadn't accomplished anything during the day if I slept with Landon was sleeping. I wish I could get over it, and I have sincerely tried to nap when Landon is sleeping, but it is literally impossible. I just cannot nap.
At least Landon sleeps well :)
Breastfeeding: I feel incredibly lucky that breast-feeding has come very naturally to both me and Landon. I know that it is something that often times is a huge struggle for many many moms. I really do owe it to the lactation nurses at the hospital because right after delivery, they got us to a great start and continued checking in to make sure that everything was going smoothly for both me and baby. It was painful at first though- yikes!! It probably stopped hurting after 2 1/2 weeks, so for the last week I have a felt just much better and more comfortable with breast-feeding in general. I was very, very sore in the beginning and liberally applied nipple balm after every single feeding just to help with the tenderness. I've started pumping and had a small supply in the freezer just because we had a wedding that was out of town. I was gone for about 12 hours, so I out of necessity had to make sure I had plenty of milk for the little guy. I over-prepared, pumping about 60 ounces.  However it is really hard for me to consistently pump just because Landon feeds so frequently that it's hard to have even a two-hour stretch where I could pump at the hour in between feedings, so that is something I'm definitely going to try to look into. I need some advice to figure out how I can be pumping more regularly to build up a supply in the freezer. It is just nice to have more freedom to be able to run errands or have date nights, etc. Also, I want to make sure I've got a good supply for when I go back to work, making sure that I have at least a days work stockpiled at home and my Gramma's so that when I am pumping at work, he's already got enough on hand for when my Gramma watches him.

Baby: Landon has gained over 2 pounds and grown over 3 inches! It's incredible to see our little guy slowly but surely get bigger. It's also eased my first-time mom worries about whether or not he was getting enough breastmilk and growing, so it's really reassuring to know that he's on track. He is one hungry baby!! I call him the "milk monster." He loves to eat, and I sort of feel like his first word very likely could be "boob" or "boobies" just because my husband and I are constantly saying, "Oh he wants the boob!" or "He wants boobies!" He also is a very talkative baby- he coos, gurgles, grunts, & makes a lot of noise all the time. Even at night he snores a bit. For the most part he's a happy little guy. He loves music, and he loves the sunshine. If it's a sunny day, you can just tell he lights up the second I take him into the nursery and he feels the sun on his face through the window when I lay him on the changing table. He also loves going outside for walks or even when I just take him outside on our back patio for my coffee in the morning. Or in the afternoon I'll take him on our front porch and read with him, and he just instantly relaxes the second we step outside. 

Mr. Sunshine 
Love Life: Since it's only one month, there is no sort of monkey business going on yet. I'm waiting until I get clearance from the doctor for that. I do have such a deeper bond and connection to my husband having gone through the birth experience, and every day looking at Landon and feeling such a sense of pride that we made this incredible human together. That has brought me so close to him. However, lack of sleep and just feeling on call 24/7, especially since he's gone back to work, I would be lying if I didn't say I have a slight bit of resentment that he gets a break. It feels like he gets to escape during the day. Not that I feel like Landon is a chore or that I don't want to be with Landon, because when I'm not with Landon I FREAK OUT, and I feel an incredible urge to always be with Landon. But there are moments of sheer exhaustion when I am in zombie cow milk giver mode that I would just love a 30 minute break. I think those are the times that I can be difficult or extremely stressed or short tempered with my husband, and I do feel guilty about that. We're trying to figure out a schedule or a division of responsibilities that prevents me from feeling that way. We don't have it all figured out quite yet, but we're trying to figure out what will work best for us. And I love him for trying and putting up with me when I'm crazy and cranky. 

Our 1-year Wedding Anniversary Date
Hardest Part: I think for me the hardest part has been feeling like I am not as intellectually stimulated as I normally am. I feel like when I was at work every day there was a new challenge or something I had to think critically about evaluated or make a tough decision. And while being a mom is definitely tough and challenging, I think it's more physically exhausting and draining- especially breast-feeding. It often feels like I'm just on autopilot, and I am a cow who is just there to pump out milk. And since my husband has gone back to work, unless I have visitors, there's no sort of adult conversation that occurs during the day, so that can get lonely and make me feel very unlike myself.

Best part: I absolutely love getting to spend so much time with my baby. I am in absolute denial that July 20 will ever come, and then I will have to go back to work, because I really truly relish every minute that I get to cuddle, snuggle, read, and do all sorts of activities with Landon. I absolutely love getting to nurture him, teach him things, sing to him, ask questions, be silly, and see his reactions. Just watching him grow- it's amazing how every single week he's gotten more and more alert, and you can just tell he's absorbing so much every single day. 
I just love being Landon's mommy <3

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